Acceptance that you have been in denial is a hard pill to swallow. Last night I came to the grand realization that I have been living in denial about a certain situation. I find that when conditions worsen it pretty much slaps me in the face. I am currently going through something that is hard to deal with. In the past I have pretty much just ran for situation like this, but as I found myself unable to shut off my emotions last night I discovered that I been in a bit of a denial about a situation in my life. Sometimes I feel that not thinking or admitting a problem is easier to deal with. Loosing so many loved ones a few years ago I found it easier to just not think about it.
However, I admit that this is not how to deal with pain. Acceptance of issues is sometimes harder for me to do. Accepting the hard things in life tend to be the most difficult. However, knowing that I must accept what is happening really slapped me in the face last night.
The fact is that life is too short and running from situations and avoiding people so that you can ignore those situations is not the right thing to do. I know while I was in college it was the “easy” thing to do being that I lived so far away, however due to now living home the ability to avoid situations is non-existent.
Change is hard for me and ignoring that things are changing has comforted me in the past but I know I need accept things and move on. However not being some that shows much emotion and all the sudden has been hit with a tsunami of emotions hurt more than expect. I deep down know that this situation will not get better and the acceptance that denial is not the route to go has, is, and will be a hard pill to swallow for me.
I know that I have not disclosed what actually is going on but that is not something I comfortable blogging about, I just hope that if you are the praying kind of person that you include this in your silent prayers. I know this post is a bit out of the norm for me, however sometimes bloggers need to lay it all out there and that is what this post is simply about today.
On a side note I hope that you all have a great weekend and gets some sunshine! I am so looking forward to a few days off and hopefully a tan developing. I am feeling like Casper these days and it is time for a change!