Confession time. So you know that inner voice that is super critical and keeps you up and night telling you all the things you need to improve on and all the things you should have done? I have one of those and let me tell you sometimes it is quite annoying. I pretty much and a private personal and don’t discuss my relationship issues so today is going to be a stretch for me. I am going to tell you a few things about myself that may explain why you don’t see specific details about what I did over the weekend and where I am living.
I am one that keeps people at a distance and sees the bad before the good. When you are like myself and have worked as a Domestic Violence Advocate you perhaps will gain this perspective. When you see how evil people can truly be to others you will learn to expect it unfortunately.
I confess….I hate my coldness but it is the way god built me. I am not one that likes someone getting to close to me in line and i often remind some people that like to hover to, “get out of my bubble.” Not being ugly but I just like my space.
I confess….I can’t post many pictures of where I am or what I am doing on my blog or any social media accounts. Why you may ask? This is pretty simple considering it can be explained in two words, Psycho Ex-boyfriends. One in particular that if I see him I pretty much will have a panic attack. Let’s just say we are exes for a reason.
I confess….I live in a dry county. Yes, those exists. What do I mean by this? Well we have no nice restaurants that sell alcohol here due to this. We do have convenient stores that sell beer and wine but no liquor licenses are issued here. This is due to living in the conservative south. I love part of living here because of the values of people, but I am quite moderate when it comes to this subject.
I confess….I have not many friends that live here that I go out with. Let’s face it moving home is a struggle when all your friends are married with kids. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that but due to not seeing myself with kids it makes it difficult to hang out with friends. All my besties live 3-5 hours away! Plus the only guys that are up to my standards(i.e. not a drug addict and financially stable) are married which is a no go.
I confess….My life has changed way too much since college. I just to go out and hang out with friends and was a complete social butterfly. It seems when I came home I just shut down. Whereas I use to l0ok for reasons to go out, I now look for reasons to stay in. I have to constantly push myself to get out of my comfort zone.
I confess….I now find myself tired at 3am where in college I was still going till 5am. Anyone else feel like this? I now feel I require more sleep that I did just a few years ago. Not saying I am over the hill by any means, but shouldn’t being in my “prime” come with the ability to stay up longer?
I confess….I truly wish I could be more warm and fuzzy as my mom, have my friends live closer to me and have less crazy exes. However, I realize that will out all of these I wouldn’t be the person I am and well I do like my life and cherish every day on this earth. I feel I can find way more positives than negatives. Even though I face struggles like everyone, the fact that I have my family, health and wake up everyday. I am actually pretty happy… after all, my life is pretty amazing indeed.